Letters From My Best Friend
by MySoulAches
Summary: Jane starts it all by sending a heartfelt letter to Maura. The tragedy of losing a close friend causes Jane to confess her feelings for Maura. What starts out as a spur of the moment action, turns into a love affair that is expressed through their letters. Jane and Maura find solace and peace in exchanging letters to one another. Creative Rizzles content. Rating Mature.
1. Janes Letter -1-

**From Jane**  
(Set after the funeral of Barry Frost)

Dear Maura,

I know you're probably curious as to why I'm writing you this letter. I guess, I couldn't really trust my emotions enough to tell you in person. I already know that I'm going to babble in this letter, so I apologize ahead of time. I guess I should just get to the point right?

Where do I begin? It's hard to pinpoint a specific time in history when I started to feel this way. It's funny, you're texting me right now. You're telling me that you have faith in me and you know I'm going to do good on his eulogy. I mean, Barry's…

You have no idea how your words encourage me. Not just the ones you just texted me, but all of them. I've never told you before. You may think I am naturally strong, but I'm only strong because I have you by my side. I am strong because of you.

If you opened this letter when you got home like I asked you to, you're probably sitting there on your couch. You're probably still drained from crying at the service. You're probably wondering where I am, because I told you I would come over. You're probably realizing now, that I am not coming over tonight. You're probably nodding your head, understanding that my time for a good cry has come and I am probably better doing that alone.

And if you're wishing what I'm wishing, you're probably wishing that I would have come over anyway, and that we were together right now, holding each other and supporting each other. Am I right?

Weird, huh? You're probably wondering how I knew what you were thinking and feeling inside at this very moment. I'll tell you how I knew. It's because you're my best friend. You get me as much as I get you.

When Barry died, I was devastated. I got so used to seeing him around, you know. Every time, I looked up from my desk, he was there. Now, all I see is an empty chair.

If anything ever happens to you, I don't think my heart can take it. I try not to think about it. I try to pretend that I don't care as much about you as I really do. That way the thought of losing you won't hurt as bad. But the truth is, no matter how much I try to stop it; my heart cannot and will not stop loving you.

Man, Maura, you must know by now how I feel. Don't you?

Losing Barry made me realize just how dumb I've been for not telling you how I feel. I was afraid to tell you. Afraid of rejection. Afraid that you'd look at me differently. Afraid that if I came clean about how I felt, it would change what we have. I'm not afraid anymore. I cannot let another day to pass without telling you that I am in love with you, Maura Isles.

I am so in love with you that every time I am around you, I feel like my whole world is complete. Every time you're near me or hugging me or just sitting around being silly with me, I have to force myself to keep quiet instead of confessing my love to you.

My fear of losing you forever in death and never having a chance to tell you has outweighed my fear of being rejected by you. God … My heart is so overwhelmed right now with feelings for you. With every ounce of my being, I swear. Can this be real? I've never felt this way before! -

(God I'm crying) I'm so scared, but I gotta tell you this. I love you. More than a person should love her best friend.

I love everything about you. I love your beautiful personality. I love your smile. I love those beautiful eyes that seem to pierce right through me. I love your adorable laugh. I love every single thing about you. Even that cute way you pout when you get upset over something. Man, my heart wants to be with you so bad. And it wasn't until I lost Barry, that I truly realized just how much I need you in my life.

I need the times that we share. I look forward to coming to your house after work and relaxing. You always have my favorite beer. That's so special to me. It's the little things about me that you remember and that makes me feel special.

Lately we've been snuggling on the couch. I find myself wanting more. And I'm not exactly sure what more is.

I feel like I'm babbling.

I guess I'm trying to say... I love you, Maur. I love you so much. And I don't want to keep pretending like I don't. Life is too short and I don't want to make the mistake of going through this life without the only thing that I truly want.

And all I want is you.

I can't believe I told you that. I'm afraid of what you'll think of me, but it's something that needed to be said.

I'll see you tomorrow. Sleep well.

Love,

Jane

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks for reading. Letters From My Best Friend is a series of letters exchanged by Jane and Maura, which will take a deeper look into their relationship through the written words they express. Just my fun way of keeping them alive in our hearts, though the show is ending. More to come.**


	2. Mauras Reply -1-

**From Maura**  
(Two Days Later)

Jane,

You were right. I was very curious about your letter. After reading it, however, it became undeniably clear why you wrote it instead of telling me. You are a very brave woman! I would first like to say, thank you so much for trusting me enough to share your feelings with me. I'm actually quite shocked! But not in a bad way. I apologize that it's taken me so long to address this subject.

I know you were probably thinking that I wasn't going to respond or even acknowledge it. I saw it in your eyes when you came to visit me in my office the other day. I just wasn't ready to discuss it. I guess I can say that I didn't trust myself either. Especially not with verbally expressing my feelings.

You know I'm not really good at expressing my feelings and emotions, Jane. You are so much better at that than I am. I'm somewhat envious. :-)

I wish I could just compose a letter like the one you did for me, and tell you about every feeling and emotion I may have... In particular, my feelings for you.

I can't understand them. They are so alien to me that sometimes I ignore them all together.

Jane, when you say that you love me, what kind of love are you speaking of? I know you love me. We are best friends. I love you too.

Please forgive me if I sound ignorant. It's just hard for me to think that someone as good, and as strong, and as beautiful as you are, could ever love me romantically. I mean, I'm emotionally closed off. You are certainly the only person that I've ever allowed to get this close to me.

It just felt natural to do so.

Ever since we first met, I've always felt drawn to your warm and kind spirit. I felt drawn because it was something that I had determined was missing from my life. You came along at a time when I was failing miserably with my personal life.

Jane, don't ever feel as though you cannot tell me what's on your mind and heart. We didn't become best friends by not communicating with each other. I'm especially fond of the times we spend together as well. I too find myself yearning for your warmth next to me.

And that frightens me. It frightens me because I've never felt this strongly before for anyone. And it's confusing because you're not just anyone. I can't believe I just wrote that.

Sometimes I think that I'm attaching myself to you more because we lost Barry. He was our best friend. And now he's gone. And it hurts. I also find myself yearning to be closer to you and wishing never to be apart from you.

What does that mean?

The night that I received your letter, I felt extremely vulnerable and alone when I realized that you were not coming to spend the night. I asked myself why had I grown so accustomed and comfortable with your presence? I wondered if there was some underlying reason for my attachment to you. I tried to pinpoint as well, when it was when I started feeling this attraction towards you.

And I can't remember either. I'm so glad to know how you feel. I do not feel differently towards you, nor could I ever. I missed you a lot that night after the service. Perhaps too much.

If I know you as much as you know me, then I know exactly what you're doing right now. You're sitting on your couch, sipping on a chilled beer, reading this letter, smiling and showing those beautiful dimples of yours. You're shaking your head right now too. Possibly chuckling. And you're wondering when will you see me again.

The answer to that is: Tomorrow evening. My place. It's Downton Abbey night.

Always,

Maura

P.S. Stop rolling your eyes. You'll love the show one day.

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks for reading!**


	3. Janes Letter -2-

**From Jane #2**

Dear Maura,

Really? I poured my heart out to you, telling you how much I love you and you ask me what KIND of love I feel for you? Are you just kidding or you really don't know? Maura, oh my god... What am I going to do with you?

How did you like how I delivered this letter? (LOL) I had some time before I started my case and I thought it was the perfect time to reply. I kind of like writing like this. When I see you throughout the day, I have these thoughts that run through my head. Thoughts about what I want to say to you, and how I want to say them. I have to admit. Thinking about you reading these and smiling about what I write in my letters makes me happy. (Don't you dare say "Awwww")

You see, I'm not that hard to please. I'm very simple to be honest...

I may be simple, but I'm not an idiot.

I know you know exactly what I meant. I didn't speak Chinese to you, Woman. Why must you torment me like this?

You're a very smart woman. You're an expert on human behavior, or so you've told me. You didn't fib to me did you? I hope not because if you did, my trust in you might be broken...

Calm down, I'm just teasing about the trust part. You know I trust you with my life.

But you must understand that I also trust you with my feelings and I when I expressed to you how I felt, I put myself out there for you, you know. I was scared. I still am. I know you don't mean to, but when you pretend that you don't know what kind of love I feel, it makes me feel like you don't think much about my feelings.

But in the case you need me to re-explain this to you:

Maura, I have these feelings for you that won't go away. No matter how hard I try, they only get stronger. I dare to say that I am in love with you. I am in love with my best friend. But my best friend doesn't love me the way I love her.

Or does she and she's just pretending not to? Pretending only makes it worse - Trust me, I know. :-/

What are you afraid of, Maur? Are you afraid of loving me? Being with me?

If it makes you more comfortable, we do not have to talk about our feelings when we are hanging out together, watching your boring British shows. If it makes it easier for you, we can just reserve our feelings to the content of the letters that we write.

Btw... You have beautiful handwriting. I found one more thing to love about you.

I want you to feel comfortable telling me how you feel. I am not going anywhere anytime soon. Do you want to just do that? You know, write these letters and talk as much as we want in them about feelings?

I really would like to do that. I feel comfortable doing it this way, because sometimes I can babble, and it's so embarrassing when I do it in front of the Queen Googlemouth herself. *Smile*

You're such a great person, Maura. And I'm so happy we are friends.

Well, I gotta go check out this lead.

Love,

Jane

P.S. Are you smiling?


	4. Mauras Reply -2-

**Maura's Reply #2**

Jane,

That was so not funny leaving my letter in between the toes of my John Doe! Are you crazy? You ran a great risk of contaminating the evidence. I think the question is: What am I going to do with YOU, Jane Rizzoli? I must admit, I was very excited to see your letter waiting for me, even if it was stuck in between the toes of a cadaver.

I'm eating my lunch right now, and taking the moment to reply. I want to choose my words carefully because I don't want you to feel apprehensive about spending time with me tonight.

Before I go any further, please allow me to apologize for being insensitive. You are right. I understood completely. I believe I was just wanting to make sure you still felt the same way by the time you replied. The emotions that we both felt in the days following Barry's death were very hard to deal with. And I just wanted to know for sure if these feelings expanded past that night. I'm sorry for testing you, Jane… Will you ever forgive me?

I know you want me to express what it is that I truly feel, but I'm just afraid of what I feel. I fear things too, Jane. Mainly my fear is of change. I feel as though if I acknowledge these unfamiliar feelings inside of me, then I will be accountable for any actions that may follow because of them.

Lately, it's been very difficult to simply "sit" with you on the couch. That first night that we actually snuggled, I wanted nothing more than to feel your arms around me. Do you remember how it all happened? Of course you do. When I had gone into the kitchen for a refill on our drinks, I returned and saw that you had changed positions on the couch. I'm not sure if this was intentional or something that was done subconsciously.

Regardless, when I handed your beer to you and when you looked up at me and smiled, all I wanted at that minute was for you to hold me in your arms. The thought had fleeted through a few times here and there, but at that moment, it was all I wanted. So when I sat down and laid my head across your lap to watch the remainder of the show, I was doing what felt right to me. And Jane… It felt so right.

I was surprised that you didn't protest, but instead you reached down and stroked your fingers through my hair, and each time I felt your fingers slide through my hair, that unfamiliar feeling inside grew ever intense. And it made these feelings awaken in places that a woman has never caused to awaken in me before.

I know you're thinking back on it too. Things changed that night although we never acknowledged them. Do you remember what you did next? You pulled the blanket over my body and reclined further in your spot so that you could relax and enjoy it as well. It took you a while, but eventually you felt comfortable enough to embrace me. I'm so glad you did.

I don't remember much after that because we quickly fell asleep. Sometime through the night though, I had awakened and found my face pressed against the skin of your belly. I remember inhaling deeply, and being overwhelmed by your sweetness. The scent of your skin was so aromatic. I've smelled it before, but never this closely.

I placed a feather soft kiss on your skin. I don't even know why I did it, Jane. I feel so embarrassed telling you what I did. Even though I couldn't comprehend why I did it, when I did it, it felt like home…

Your skin against my lips was so soft, tantalizing, and inviting. I just did it once. I didn't want to betray our friendship any further.

I wasn't planning on ever telling you about that. Especially not so soon before our next girls' night. I hope this doesn't change how you recline with me. I promise I've only done it that one time. And I haven't done it since.

I don't even remember why I brought this subject up. Let me look back… Oh, yes, I was getting to the point about my unfamiliar feelings and how they increase each time we cuddle on the couch. The truth is, I don't want to stop cuddling with you.

I don't want to stop our girls' nights. I don't want to stop sleeping the night with you in my bed. The best part about sleeping with you in my bed is waking up to you holding me at night. Sometimes I'm not sure if you know you're doing it, but I enjoy it tremendously. Your strength and your love is evident when you hold me in your arms.

Oh Jane… What are you doing to me?

Every little thing we do brings me to the realization that I am inevitably longing for your touch… There, I said it. (I feel so vulnerable)

I would like to continue writing as well. The more I write, the easier it is. I could have never told you those things in person. At least not yet. I would enjoy continuing this.

But my wonder is: How long can we go divulging our feelings in our letters without actually talking about them when we are together? This will be very interesting.

I will see you this evening, Jane. I'm going home early today. Don't forget to pick up the Chinese on your way over. Yes, it's your turn!

Love,

Maura

P.S. Yes, I'm smiling. I always smile when I think of you…

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks for reading!**


	5. Janes Letter -3-

**From Jane #3**

Dear Maura,

As I'm writing this letter, I am sitting up in the bed next to you, watching you sleep. You are so beautiful when you sleep. When I woke up, I noticed that I had my arm was tucked underneath you and we were spooning. Our fingers were laced together and you had pulled my arm underneath you while you slept. Waking up like that was a surprise.

It wasn't until you said something about it in your letter that I made a conscious effort to be aware of how I slept. When I woke up, I felt this softness against me. It felt so soft, I thought it was a pillow, but then I realized it was you.

I tried to resist the urge to pull you closer to me, but the longer I laid there feeling your body lying so close to mine, the more I wanted to feel you closer. So I pulled you closer and l held you close while you slept. I was so afraid that you'd wake up, but you didn't. You slept so peacefully, even leaning further into my arms.

I could have held you all night if you had let me.

But eventually you rolled out of my arms and moved away from me. I guess you woke up alittle and realized that I was holding you again. (I'm sorry)

It felt so weird when you pulled away from me, you know. And that's why I'm sitting up watching you sleep. I don't trust myself enough…

Since our letters are a platform for our honest feelings, I need to say something. I've never been with a woman before. I mean I kissed a girl once, but that was it. I've never been intimate with another woman before and I've never really wanted to either. Until tonight.

When you were in my arms, while I listened to you breathing – Something began to stir inside of me. I think a better word is churn. Yeah, something began to churn inside of me, and I began to wonder what it was like. You know what I mean.

I couldn't help but to be amazed with how beautiful your body is. To be honest, I'd never noticed it before. Now suddenly, you're all I think about. What have you done to me? Have you cast some type of spell on me?

I'm not afraid of my feelings. I just don't want to scare you away because of them. I would never forgive myself if that happened.

I just received a text message from Korsak. I'm sorry, I have to go. But I don't want to. :*(

You're so adorable when you sleep. You're smiling now... It's like you don't have a worry in the world. God, Maura... Why do you have to be so beautiful?

When you wake up, I won't be lying next to you. I hope you were dreaming of me, and that's why you were smiling.

See you later today.

Love,

Jane

P.S. I left something special for you in the fridge. I hope you like it.


	6. Mauras Reply -3-

**Maura's Reply #3**

Dear Jane,

How did you know that I was craving cheesecake? I didn't even mention it to you. Wow, you are truly amazing! I completely understand you having to leave this morning. It's your job after all right? I came by this morning looking for you, but Lt. Cavanaugh said that you wouldn't return until later, so I'm taking a moment to reply.

Where do I begin?

This is becoming extremely difficult for me. I sense things changing, and it's making me slightly paranoid. I know I could have just remained silent on this issue and just kept writing, but I'm frightened Jane. What if we go too far? What if we start longing for each other's physical touch because of the things we write in our letters? Neither one of us know the first thing about making love to each other. That's just a lot of pressure. What if things get out of hand? It's extremely easy to say whatever you want to say in a letter, but what happens when we are together? On the couch? Or in bed, Jane? What then?

I can already hear you now. You're saying: "Man, she's really freaking out!"

Perhaps I am, but wouldn't you "freak out" also? I'm not a naturally loving person like you are. I really have to work at it.

Please stop shaking your head at me. I'm just really nervous, Jane. I'm nervous about the unknown. Unlike you, I've never come remotely close to kissing a woman. When I kissed your belly that night, that was the first time that I'd EVER attempted anything of the sort.

Maybe sleeping in the same bed is not advisable until we can sort things out maybe? I mean, it's not like I don't want you in my bed, because I do. I just – I don't know… I mean– I'm not sure what I mean. I just know that you are causing me to feel so many different emotions. If it isn't your words on the page, it's the way you hold me, or the way you kissed me on my neck last night.

When we fell asleep last night, we were on opposite sides of the bed, and yet we ended up in each other's arms? How did that happen and why? What happened in the middle of the night that caused us to wind up in each other's embrace?

I was so comfortable. And when you pulled me closer, and kissed me on the nape of my neck, I felt like my heart had stopped momentarily. You were so gentle with me while your lips passed over my hairline and over my ear. Your lips lingered there, kissing me softly - I couldn't think! Your hands felt so soft on my belly and your body felt so good pressing against my back.

I wanted to stop you, I really did, but I couldn't bring myself to stop you. I know you noticed how my body reacted to your touch. I tried hard, but I couldn't prevent it from betraying me. My body was aching so badly for your touch. I wanted you.

And that's why I had to get away from you…

It seems to me that our innermost wants and desires (and maybe even our needs) come out when we are at rest and together.

Your friendship means so much to me. I cherish it more than any other relationship that I have. You could never scare me away Jane. It's more likely that I would scare me away before you ever would.

I'm so confused, Jane. Are you as confused as I am?

I've never felt this way before, but I do take comfort in knowing that you feel the same way too. With acknowledgement comes responsibility. I will admit… I'm terrified.

I don't want to ever do anything to hurt you, Jane. I think I've already passed the point of no return. One day, I will talk to you about all of this. We will talk to each other. I'm not as confident and as forthright as you are. Had you never given me that first letter, I wouldn't have acknowledged my feelings.

But you've forced me to confront my feelings. Now what?

What do we do now, Jane?

Always,

Maura

* * *

 **A/N: Who noticed it?**


	7. Janes Letter -4-

**From Jane #4**

Dear Maura,

How did you know that I kissed you? I didn't tell you in my letter that I had kissed you... I thought you were sleeping? But you were awake the entire time? Why didn't you say something? Why didn't you kiss me back? You said you ached for me, and you wanted me, but you pulled away?

I don't understand...

I know this is hard for you baby. Wow, did you see how I just wrote that? I called you baby. I'm not scratching it out because it just felt right to call you that. I know it's hard for you to process what's happening. It's hard for me too. Why can't we just let this happen? It's obvious that it's going to happen whether we try to stop it or not. Let's just let it happen. I agree with you, it's getting harder and harder to not tell you how I feel in person.

That's why I told you that I loved you last night. I whispered it into your ear... And then you rolled away from me. I get it now... I wish you hadn't told me that you were awake, because that special moment doesn't feel so special to me anymore.

You can't use being emotionally closed off as an excuse anymore. Your mind was completely open to me, as well as your body and you know it! I saw the effect I had on you. And yet you denied me? If you wanted me so bad, why did you reject me?

And don't dare say that you did not reject me, because that's exactly what you did! How could you pull away from me like that, Maur? Do you know how much courage that took? Do you know how hard I tried to fight against myself not to do that? Man, I fought so hard. But guess what won that fight?

M-Y H-E-A-R-T. My crazy stupid heart.

I knew it was probably too soon, but I did it anyway. I thought maybe... Just maybe, you'd want to feel my lips on yours as much as I wanted to feel yours on mine. Maybe I just started something, that neither one of us is ready for. I don't know.

Can you explain it to me, Maur? Nevermind. You don't have to explain anything to me. I get it. You don't feel the same way. And I'm just making a huge fool out of myself, right now. I know you care about me. This I know. And it's wrong of me to try and force you to be at the same level of comfort that I am at right now.

Good things take time, right? I wish we didn't have to wait. I know I'm going to be thinking of you tonight.

It's been a really long day. Maybe I should take it easy on the letters for a while? Is that what you want?

Korsak and I are headed up to Rhode Island to look for clues. We're hitting the road around 8pm tonight. I'm going to finish this letter and slip it under your office door. Hopefully you'll read this before I leave. I'm sure you're working late today since you went home early yesterday.

Anyways... Call me or text me.

Love,

Jane

* * *

 **A/N: Stay tuned for Maura's reply.**


	8. Mauras Reply -4-

**Maura's Reply #4**

Dear Jane,

I am so disappointed with myself right now. This is not at all how I intended this to be. You sounded so upset in your letter. I am so sorry - Please let me explain. Will you give me a chance to explain? By now you are probably at your hotel in Rhode Island reading this. Let me first say, I truly wish that I was there with you. Jane, I was afraid last night. Can't you understand? When we are writing our letters, I feel so free to express myself. I don't have any fear of anything because I know that I can express myself the way that my heart truly wants to express it.

When I read your words and realized that my actions hurt you, I couldn't help but to become angry with myself. I'm afraid Jane. I'm not afraid of you. I'm afraid of me. When you kissed me, my body reacted in ways that I've never reacted to anyone before. Yes, I pulled away from you, and I couldn't have done it at the most inopportune time. But I had to. I wanted you so terribly. My passion had flared up inside of me. I wanted nothing more than for you to touch me. I wanted to just take your hand that was hesitating to touch me and do it for you. But I became fearful of what might happen, and the responsibility that we'd take on. I know I sound like a broken record maybe, but it's how I feel.

If only I could go back in time, I wouldn't have allowed my fear to overrule my good judgement. I wouldn't have allowed you to continue kissing me without reciprocating.

Jane, you are my heart. I know you must know. We are getting so close through the expressions in our letters. And that's exactly what we both wanted. At least it's what I wanted. But I was too much of a coward to take the first step. You did it for me... You did it for us. So the least I can do is to tell you how I really feel. I'm sure you can discern from the way I look at you just how deeply I care for you.

I'm not a religious person, but every time you go out into the field, I say a little prayer to whomever may be listening asking them to safeguard you and bring you home safely to me. Crazy huh? I only hate one thing in this world, and that's your job, because everyday runs a risk of you losing your life. And my heart, my mind, and my entire organism cannot fathom the thought of ever living a day without you.

Every time we are together, I dream of kissing you. I'm tired of dreaming, Jane. I want that. I want to kiss you. I want my first kiss with you. It should have been last night, our first kiss. Jane, I'm so sorry that I rejected us last night. Please give me another chance?

Please?

I know your heart is heavy right now. But please just know that I love you, Jane. I love you so much, and my comfort level is increasing more each day. Please don't stop writing me. I look forward to our letters. I will never hurt you like that again. I like it when you call me baby... It makes me feel like I belong to you. I agree, this what is happening between us was destined to happen.

I miss you already, Jane. When will you be back from Rhode Island?

If you get back home before the weekend, would you like to come and stay with me? I'd like so much to have an opportunity to spend time with you again. I know you're smiling, because you have such a naughty mind. That makes me laugh because I can just see you now. You're twirling your finger through your hair, contemplating us cuddling on the couch before we go off to bed. And you're thinking about waking up together in bed. And who knows what else happening after that.

And you know that I am a woman of my word and when I say that I **promise** I will never reject you again, you know exactly what I mean...

And that's what is making you the happiest. I love you, Jane Rizzoli. I have always loved you. I want you to touch me. I want you to kiss me. I want to feel your lips all over my body.

What would you like for me to do to you?

Love,

Maura

P.S. Send me a selfie.


	9. Janes Letter -5-

**Jane's Letter #5**

Good morning, Baby –

I'm back now. I made sure Korsak stopped by your place before taking me home, so you could have your letter when you woke up this morning.

How did you sleep the past few nights? I hope you slept okay. I didn't sleep too well. Not sure why. I guess I had a lot of things on my mind. Mainly thoughts of you and us, and how we have absolutely no clue what we're doing. But it's something that we really want. Maybe I couldn't sleep because I was away from you and not sleeping in the bed with the woman I love?

I highly doubt you're going to have a chance to reply to me before I see you tonight. And that's okay if you don't. The fact that you want to be with me this weekend is reward enough for me. Yes, I will stay with you this weekend. I've already told Korsak I'm taking it off. But I can't promise that I'll behave. *wink*

Oh, stop blushing :-)

Maura, you have no idea how happy I am to know how you really feel about me. I don't feel so stupid anymore you know? I knew you needed a little time. You told me that from the beginning. I guess I'm just who I am. I have that "I want what I want right now" kind of personality. But of course you know that.

The way you ended your letter was so… Man, you left me thinking about all the things I want you to do to me. And by the way, you're full of crap, Maur. I was not thinking about anything naughty until you said something. You, my dear Maura are the perv. Try to deny it if you want. Remember your little one night stand kits? Hmmph.

(LOL)

I can just see the smile on your face right now, and those adorable dimples that I love so much. It's getting really hard keeping my feelings contained in our letters. When I see you tonight, I'm not sure what I'm going to do.

I could kiss you. That would be a start.

That's going to be amazing. I've dreamed of kissing you for so long. I wonder what your lips taste like. If they're as soft and as sweet as they look. You asked me what I wanted you to do to me… That's a huge question. There are so many things I want from you. Things I can't get out of my head. Things I've been fantasizing about. Mainly I want you to kiss me. And I'm not talking just a simple kiss; I want you to kiss me as if I was the last person on this planet, and the one person who held your heart.

No one has ever kissed me like that before and I know in my heart that you feel this way about me, just like I feel it about you. I see it in your eyes. I just want to feel real love at least once.

That night I held you in my arms and kissed you on the neck, I saw how your body reacted to me. I saw your nipples harden from my touch. And all I wanted to do was taste them. I wish I had. But I know if I had tasted them, and sucked them deep into my warm awaiting mouth, I wouldn't have been able to stop there.

That's why when you kiss me for the first time, I want you to be sitting in my lap when you kiss me, so I can make sure you don't run away. I also want you in my lap too, because then your breasts will be right where I want them to be.

OMG, I'm getting so turned on… What am I doing to myself?

And after you kiss me, I want you to let me taste your nipples. I want you to lie down and take my head into your hands and guide me to them and let me kiss them slowly, and twirl my tongue around them, and suck on them until I hear you moan my name softly. I want to hear that so bad.

(I have goosebumps thinking about it)

And I want to look into your eyes the whole time. I want you to see me. And I want you to run your fingers through my hair while your nipples are in my mouth, in between my lips, and in between my teeth as I nibble gently on you.

I know baby… I know you love that so much. I know it's your favorite. Will you do that for me?

Please, Baby?

-Jane

* * *

 **A/N - Stay tuned for Maura's very naughty reply. (That's a fair warning). If you have objections, unfollow. ~MSA**


	10. Mauras Reply -5-

**Maura's Reply #5  
**

Oh Jane, how could you do that to me!

You should have never doubted me, my love. When I finished reading your letter, I immediately texted you and asked you where you were. You replied right away as I knew you would, and told me that you were at the precinct. Why would you go back there after leaving me that letter? The things you said to me, those words did something to me. I bet you're surprised to have this letter on your desk, aren't you? Don't look around, you won't find me. By now I'm back at home, waiting on your lips to come to me. I mean, YOU... Waiting on you. (How embarrassing)

Do you know what you did to me? I'm sure you don't. That's why I made it a point to write this letter really quickly and deliver it, so pardon my spelling errors. What are you doing right now? I don't need to ask. You're just taking up space because you're not working at all. You're sitting at your desk, daydreaming about me and wondering what I'm doing, and thinking about tonight. Aren't you? And you just looked up again to see if I'm standing around. Am I right?

I told you I am at home waiting on you. Are you sure you're going to work for the rest of the day?

Enough small chat. I was really hoping to make good time, because I had to do something before writing a reply. Guess what I had to do, my love? Your letter left me so incredibly aroused thinking about you sucking and kissing on my breasts... And touching me. You know I love that above everything else. Oh Jane. Why would you tease me like that? You know that's my favorite thing. The images that played out in my head were so vivid. I actually felt the warmth of your tongue. I felt it tremble as it circled over the entire diameter of it. And when you latched on with your lips, I felt the bumps of your tongue move over the tip of it. How is that even possible?

My body ached so badly, just to feel your soft tongue on those places that I've been dreaming of for months.

Jane my answer is a resounding yes. Yes, I will let you kiss my breasts and yes I will let you suck on my nipples. But only if you'll bite them too, and put your mark on me? Can I be yours, Jane? The very thought excites me so much. The thought of your warm tongue tracing me in other places and your lips encircling me and sucking me deep into your mouth. Omg, I cannot take these feelings that I am feeling! I want you to take care of it for me.

Earlier after I read your letter, I had to touch myself. I could smell your soft scent on your letter and it drove me insane. So I had to touch it. Not the letter, but my hot and wet pussy. I feel so naughty telling you this and using those types of words but I can't express it to you any other way and get my point across.

Jane it felt so amazing. I wanted to call you, and hear your voice. I wanted you to hear me moan your name softly while I circled my clit with my trembling fingers. I was so anxious to touch it. It was so sensitive from the thoughts of you that cascaded through my mind. While I ran slow circles over it, I dipped the tip of my finger inside, before I continued. My body began to tremble because I imagined the soft tip of my finger was your tongue. And when I cupped my entire pussy, and allowed the warmth of my hand to envelop it, I imagined that it was your mouth, kissing me fully there, and sucking my clit into your mouth.

Omg... Jane, I want you so badly. Please come to me.

And then I gently slid my fingers inside of me and dipped it in and out repeatedly... and as deeply as I could push them. And then I slid them out.

Do you know what else I did, Jane? (oh yes) I certainly did...

I licked my fingers so I could know what you would taste when you tasted me tonight. There are no "ifs". I know you will taste me. I will let you do anything you want to do to me. I can't contain my passion for you any longer. I want you to taste me. I know you'll like it.

I continued to circle my clit, while I tugged on my nipple. I kept moaning your name until I felt my body tensing up for an orgasm. In my mind, your lips were locked around it while my fingers were interlocked behind your head while I slowly rode your face. The sounds your lips made were incredible. You never took your eyes off of me. It was all so real. I love that...

Then when I couldn't take anymore, I felt myself coming for you. I cried out your name and came hard for you. It felt so wonderful. My body trembled as you placed imaginary kisses on me. Eventually I came to my senses enough to write this letter.

Please come to me, Jane. I want this now. But if I have to wait I will. You'll be well worth the wait. Tonight, I want you to taste me. I want you to make me come for you tonight.

Will you do that for me?

Love,

Maura

* * *

 **A/N: Um... I plead the 5th**


	11. Janes Letter -6-

**Jane's Letter #6**

Maura,

Oh my god! No one has never, and I mean EVER convinced me to leave work early. You are a smart woman. You knew exactly what you were doing. The way you told me what you had done to yourself and how you persuasively kept asking me to come to you. Man, Maura...What have I gotten myself into? :-)

I couldn't think of doing anything else or being anywhere else than here with you. So I came to you. I don't know why you looked so surprised to see me. Did you not think that your words would effect me the way they did?! Did you not think that I was going to lose my mind sitting there thinking about you touching yourself and calling out my name?

All I wanted was to be here with you. Nowhere else... Just here.

Maura, our first kiss was so powerful. Thank you so much for giving me what I wanted. I really felt your love in the kiss. What surprised me is that you didn't even say hello. (LOL) When I walked in, you looked shocked to see me, and then you just smiled. You literally melted my heart with your smile.

I didn't believe that I had to say anything. You knew why I was here this early. I came because you wanted me to come back. I remember walking towards you, and you never took your eyes off of me. You rose from your seat and your smile just kept getting brighter. It was that moment that I came to the realization that I wanted to see that smile everyday... Just like that... For the rest of my life.

I thought you were just going to hug me first, and I really thought I was going to hug you too, but our lips had other plans. When your lips pressed against mine, I felt like I had died and was wrapped up in a cloud of heavenly bliss. Yeah, I know that's so cheesy, but anyway...

Your lips were softer than I had even imagined. And the way you moaned a little when you felt mine on yours for the first time. Wow, that made me feel so good. I loved how you kept pulling at me until I had no choice but to pick you up into my arms, just to keep you still. Your body is so amazing. And your ass... wow. When you wrapped your legs around me, and I sat down on the couch, the way you kissed me made me want you so bad.

Your body moved in ways that I never knew it was possible for you to move. You are such a little freak, Maur. I love that! On the outside, you're this incredibly smart intellectual doc, but deep down, you are a - I can't even put a word to it.

When I was kissing you, I couldn't keep my hands to myself. I'm sure you knew I couldn't. But the moment you wrapped your fingers up through my hair and started tugging it, I couldn't restrain myself any longer. From the way you were tugging my hair, I could tell you were tugging me towards your boobs.

I knew what you wanted because it was the same thing that I wanted. When I laid you back onto the couch, I knew what you wanted even though you still hadn't said anything to me. When I opened your robe and realized that you were naked underneath - I think my brain must have blown a fuse.

You were so beautiful. Your skin is so soft and silky. I almost cried on the spot. Because I never thought I would have a chance to see you like this, and here you were pulling me to where you wanted me. By the time I reached your nipple, I was trembling with excitement.

I'll never forget the first time my mouth touched your breasts, and how you called my name softly while pushing it further into my mouth. I'll never forget the feel of your body underneath mine. And I'll never forget what it did to me hearing you whisper "I love you," under your breath while my tongue tasted your nipples for the first time. It was so nice experiencing those sweet first kisses with you. And it was so nice to relax in your arms and fall asleep with you.

I love you, Baby. So much. I can't wait to experience more with you.

Don't worry, I know you expected me here when you woke, but I'll be back. I promise. I needed to run by my place to do something. But I will be back. Tonight is our night.

Are you ready?

Forever Yours,

Jane

P.S. You look so sexy with my mark on you. You're mine now. Don't ever forget that. *wink*


	12. Mauras Reply -6-

**Maura's Reply #6**

Good morning, my love. It felt strange not writing a reply as soon as I'm used to doing it. But I have good reason. I am so sorry that I had to tape the letter to your forehead. I thought it would be a nice surprise to wake up to. You were sleeping so soundly and I wanted to be sure you read it before you came down for breakfast. If you're reading this, you have just awakened from a wonderful night of love. I can't remember how many times we made love last night. All I know is that it was fabulous. We were fabulous.

Oh Jane, you were amazing. You're such a wonderful and attentive lover. You made sure to satisfy me until I was too tired to go on. Your lips were everything I had imagined and more.

Jane, I woke up early this morning and I just watched you sleep. You were so beautiful. Your luscious dark curls fell over your face. You had a smile on your face too. Could that have possibly been from the way I touched you and made love to you? Could it have been from the way I woke you after the first time we'd fallen asleep together and kissed you all over your body? Were you dreaming of me? And of us?

Jane, I'm in tears right now. No, there's not a thing wrong with me other than I love you so much, that I'm so confused as to what my next move would be. Confusion may not be the right word. Maybe "Overwhelmed" is a better word.

I want to wake up to you every morning like I did this morning. I want to have the responsibility of loving you every night until you are satisfied, waking you up every morning to do it again (just to be sure), and making your first morning meal of the day.

I want to spend each and every day with you, my love. Is that too much to ask for?

If you want me, I will make it happen.

I hope that you know that this is not a fleeting thought, Jane. Nor is it the sex talking. These are my purest deepest feelings. If I could give you the world, I would. But all I have to give you is me.

Could that ever be enough for you?

After we made love last night, I was so emotional as I know you were too. I never thought we'd end up crying in each other's arms but we did. And I know you were crying. The salt of your tears taste differently than mine. And it's okay that you felt moved enough to shed your tears in front of me. I felt so open with you, Jane. You touched the deepest part of my spirit last night.

When I was lying underneath you and you were kissing me softly, you looked into my eyes and you said: "I love you so much." My heart quivered inside, because that was the first time I heard it and felt it at the same time. I truly felt your love. You smiled at me because you saw my tears forming. And you nodded at me, perhaps giving me permission to express myself.

I took your lips with mine and I said softly against your lips, "I love you too."

And then I saw the same quiver that I felt in my heart move yours to tears. You tried to fight them back, but you didn't expect my touch to make you feel even more overwhelmed. When I reached up and touched your soft cheek and smiled, I saw those beautiful tears of yours stream down your face.

And then you lowered yourself into my arms. You held me and I held you. I knew then that nothing could ever separate us from our love. Please don't ever allow anything to come between what we have. What happened last night and early this morning was so special.

I never thought it was possible to love anyone as much as I love you. Especially if that someone is my best friend. I was so nervous about making love to you, but the look in your eyes melted away any insecurities I may have had. In them, I saw your confidence in my abilities, and I saw how much you wanted me.

Did you see how much I wanted you as well?

Oh Jane – When you kiss me, I feel like the only person left over in the world. I hope my kiss makes you feel the same way.

I want nothing more than to be your best friend, your lover, and your woman. I've never begged for anything before as much as I'm begging for a chance to be together. Maybe that's unattractive to you, if so, then so be it.

I want us, I need us.

Please Jane. Make me yours forever?

Love,

Maura

P.S. I'm making your favorite all American breakfast. Hurry up and join me.


	13. Janes Letter -7-

**Jane's Letter #7**

Hey Baby,

All I can say is this: I love you so much.

Thank you so much for the wonderful weekend. I never imagined that it would be so amazing. I had to get up alittle earlier this morning, I need to go down to the Port to talk to someone about this case. I hope it's a quiet day today. But of course, coming off of a weekend, it's usually not that promising.

Maura, I would love to be your best friend, your lover, and your woman. After this weekend, and the love we shared, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you are the one for me and we are meant to be together. We did so many things that I never knew I was capable of doing. It just came natural. I just wanted to love you until you were satisfied.

Oh Maura, your love is intense. And I can't get enough. It's going to be so hard keeping a straight face when I see you at work today. I want to be with you so bad. Not just sexually, but every day. I know that might be a difficult change and awkward at first, but can't we try? I want to be your girl. I want to go to sleep at night knowing that you will be still lying beside me when I wake up. What have you done to my heart?

You've managed to take it over. Every beat of my heart, beats with the rhythm of your name. Omg, woman… You have me sitting here on the verge of composing poetry. (LOL)

Baby, I know it may be too soon now, but whenever you want me to move in I will. :-) Don't laugh, I'm serious. I know you like your individual space, and I'll never encroach on that. But damn, you have me so hooked on your love. Everything about you is so sweet. The thing I love best about us making love, is how you moan, and when its feeling really good to you, how you pull my hair and whisper my name. (And how you say: _Fuck yes_ when my tongue hits the right spot) I also like how when I'm lying on top of you and kissing you, you tangle your fingers up into my hair and pull gently, and you'll nibble on my lip. I love that so much. It makes me feel like you love everything that I am doing for you and you accept me for who I am.

I'm still self-conscious about myself. I've never told you. But I am a little insecure. But when I'm with you, I don't feel insecure. I've always thought my breasts were never enough for anyone, but you make me feel like it doesn't matter. You look like you really enjoy them and that they're enough for you. You have no idea how good that makes me feels. When you and I were lying in bed, and you were just looking at me with so much love and acceptance. The smile of approval on your face was enough to make me realize how much you really liked me.

When I woke up to you early this morning kissing and sucking on my nipples, I thought I was dreaming, but I'm glad I wasn't. You have claimed me and I am so thankful to have someone as wonderful as you who wants all of me.

I'm begging for us too, Maur. Please lets just do this? I don't want to spend one more day without you. I will see you later at work, but I'm going to have such a hard time not pulling you aside and kissing you. I guess I will save it all up for after work, huh?

Man, I wish I was coming home to you every day. Maybe one day.

Love,

Jane

P.S. Be sure to put some concealer on your neck… Sorry I went a little crazy last night. I love you.


	14. Mauras Reply -7-

**Maura's Reply #7**

My Dearest Love,

I will never forget the love we made this past weekend. I felt so close to you; closer than I had ever felt to anyone. Jane, wow… I never realized that I could get so much excitement and pleasure out of making love to a woman. I never realized that we would ever cross that line. I am so happy we did!

You just left my office, and I cannot stop laughing at your face when you realized that I was not wearing any concealer on my neck. I received so many hilarious looks this morning, yours being the funniest of all! I'm very proud of it, and I don't care if people know that someone was so passionate for me that they left a mark on me.

Oh, my love, I wish you were coming home to me as well. Why can't you? Why can't it be right now?

Are we allowing our emotions to take over? Are we forgetting to reason on matters before making important decisions? Every day of my life, I look at numbers and facts and remove emotion from the equation. I do that every day. And you do too.

Can't we just for once, base our decisions on emotions first? I know how risky that sounds but wouldn't it be worth it? Jane, when you came into my office and sat on my couch, all I wanted to do was sit on your lap and kiss you. But of course I couldn't. It is so hard to control the urges that I have for you when we are in a work setting.

That is why I enjoy the private times we have together. Yes, I like my personal space, but I love it when YOU are in my personal space, particularly in my arms, kissing me.

You are always welcome in my home, Jane. You wouldn't have a key if I didn't want you to be here. As a matter of fact, I don't know why you're still in your apartment when most of your clothes are here, even your food and drinks. Was that your way of being here without actually being here?

Over the past 3 months, how many times did you actually go home and sleep? When our friends were looking for you, where did they look first when you couldn't be located at your apartment? Could we please stop playing these games? I want to be with the woman who owns my heart and I want to be with the woman whose mark is on my body. I belong to you, Jane.

These letters are becoming so much a part of my life that I can never see a time when they will end. By the time you receive this letter, I will more than likely be up to my elbows in autopsies. You were right, having a quiet Monday was highly unlikely. I will probably be getting off late tonight.

If you want to shower at my house after work, please feel free. I just picked up a bottle of the shampoo you use. I left dinner in the fridge. Could you pop it in the oven and warm it up for me? That is, if you do come, I mean. And as you already know, you're free to have whatever you want. My home is your home.

So with that being said, please stop wishing for something that you already have. I'll see you soon, my love.

Always yours,

Maura

P.S. I don't mean to alarm you, but do you have all of your letters that I've sent you in a safe place?


	15. Janes Letter -8-

**Jane's Letter #8**

Dear Maura,

Omg omg omg! I'm missing one of your letters! I can't find it anywhere. The one when you were telling me how you were touching yourself.

Omg, where could it be? I kept them all with me and I haven't been anywhere since you wrote it. I mean, the only place I went was home, because Ma needed to take some of my stuff to the charity. And...

Christ!

Oh man, Maur. Why did you ask me that? Did she say something? I'm like freaking out, like you would not believe. If Ma read that letter. How will I explain it?

Text me when you read this.

I love you,

Jane.


	16. Mauras Reply -8-

**Maura's Reply #8**

Dear Jane,

Please relax, my love. I know you're upset with the fact that Angela read my letter but it's not the end of the world. It's just something we didn't plan. We need to talk about this and come to an agreement of how we are going to handle this. Please do not confront her just yet. Let's talk about what we are going to tell her. We both know that she should not have read it. But what's done is done.

I'm feeling slightly embarrassed. The things I put in that letter were extremely personal. They were meant for your eyes only. Oh, Jane, I don't think I could ever look her in the eyes ever again!

I know you're feeling extremely distraught over all of this. Please don't blame yourself. If you want, you can put it all on me. I will shoulder this and take responsibility for it. I don't mind at all. I just want you to be okay. But of course I know you won't allow me to do that. You're too good of a woman.

I was so afraid after we discovered that Angela had read my letter that you wouldn't want to continue with me. I know that was just paranoia rearing its ugly head. When I didn't hear back from you after we texted, I was certain of it. When I got home last night and found you there waiting for me, I couldn't begin to tell you how happy that made me. And what made me even happier was when you joined me in the shower before bed. That was such a pleasant surprise.

When you stepped into the shower, I could tell that you were extremely troubled, but you wanted to be with me during that time and you wanted to be close to me. Thank you for allowing me to take away your stress and relax you. I enjoy pleasing you so much.

Jane, you are such a special woman. Every time I think of you and of our love, my heart bubbles over with excitement and contentment. We've known each other for so long. It's not like we just met and are sleeping together. This beautiful thing we have has been so many years in the making. We've been friends for nearly ten years. Can you believe that? Time flies when you're having fun.

Are you okay? I really hope so because this will be okay. I promise you. What's the worst that could happen? I think the worst is that Angela would be completely against our relationship and disown us. But knowing your mother and my friend as well as I do, I don't believe she will do that at all.

I think we need to talk about how we will tell her about us, but first we need to have something more substantial to present to her. It would be more palatable if we told her that we are girlfriends and my letter was a "missing you" letter to you after you'd been gone for 3 days. How does that sound?

So we can just tell her that we are girlfriends, although we're not officially yet, so she won't question anything else. But we both know Angela and know she will question us more. So let's just get together after work, and discuss what we'll say.

I'm really nervous though. I don't know why. What if I break out in hives? I don't want her to think we are being dishonest. This is just so embarrassing! Omg, Jane, I talked so naughty to you in it… and I said that I tasted myself in that letter!

Stop laughing! We'll laugh about all of this once we figure out what we're going to do. Are you coming home directly after work?

What time did she say she was coming over tonight?

I'm so nervous about this, but I cannot help but to feel excitement too. Am I insane?

See you soon, my love,

Maura


	17. Janes Letter -9-

**Jane's Letter #9**

Hey baby,

I'm sorry I couldn't help but to laugh. You sounded like you were freaking out as much as I was. I can't concentrate on work at all. I'm totally useless. You have no idea how many times I've stopped myself from coming down there and showing you how much I miss you. God, I miss you so much, Maura. I just wanted to hold you. I know that is unprofessional and we can't be fraternizing on the job, but I want it so bad.

I'm worried to about talking to my mother. I know I'm an adult, but her opinion of me matters, you know. I could never deny what we have or the love that I have for you. Not when I just found you. I don't want to lose you.

I need to explain something. Last night when I came into the shower with you, I wasn't looking for sex. Well, not just sex. I mean, inside of me I had this horrible anxious feeling. It felt like I had a million angry ants running through my body. It started of course when you told me that Ma was reading my letter. I just imagined how embarrassing that must have been for you and for her. When I came in with you, I knew that your touch would calm me. When you took me into your arms and kissed my lips, that feeling almost disappeared instantly. You have a way - This very special way of caressing me that takes away all my pain. I never thought it was possible for one person to do that for me. When you pressed me up against the wall and started kissing all over me, I knew I wanted your touch and your love more than anything else. I think you knew it too, that's why you didn't stop until I was satisfied. Thank you for that.

I should have been more careful with the letter. I had it in my hand and I sat it down with the rest of the mail and I just forgot it. Ma usually takes my mail and sorts it. I just feel so stupid. I'm still kicking myself for screwing up. I can't imagine you sitting there sipping on your espresso and realizing that Ma was sitting right in front of you reading the letter! When you told me, my heart nearly stopped, Baby. I'm so glad you're taking this as good as you are. I'm the one who is literally a basket case.

You're perfect for me, you know. You balance me out. You always have. I could never dream of stopping what we have. We'll just have to adjust. You know you'll get hives if you think you're lying. Me, I have no problem lying to Ma, but you're different. That's what makes you so special to me. Let's just do this right, Maur.

You are right, we've been together (just not together) for a very long time and I have loved you a majority of those years. I can honestly say that for me, it was love at first sight. I mean, I was dressed as a prostitute and in walks this beautiful and adorably geeky woman who stole my heart with the first smile.

No one has ever affected me so quickly before.

Maura, would you like to be mine? Officially? If you say yes, there won't be any reason for you to lie about anything. In my eyes and in my heart, you are my lady. My one and only. Everything I've done lately, I've thought about you and figured you into my decisions.

We can take our time, and progress slow and steady. Whatever you want, I swear I'll do it. Whatever you need, I'll do my best to provide it for you. Maura, I love you so much. I can't foresee a time when we'll ever be apart. I don't want to even think about it either. Will you be mine, Dr. Maura Isles?

Meet me in the janitor's closet in one hour. I know, it's not very romantic, but we can lock the door and have a little bit of privacy. No, I'm not asking for a quickie (although if you decide you want one, I'm definitely game for it), I just want to see you and hear your answer. And kiss your lips.

I'm asking you to be my girl exclusively. And I will be yours as well. I have a feeling I already know your answer… I cannot wait to see you, Baby.

One hour. Don't forget.

Love,

Jane


	18. Mauras Reply -9-

**Maura's Reply #9**

My Love,

I don't even know where to begin. I am so sorry. I had no idea she'd react the way she did. I'm totally shocked. I believe she was more embarrassed than anything. She was not acting like herself. We both know it. I cannot help but to feel responsible for all of this. I know you said that it was nonsense to blame myself but if I hadn't sent that one, she would have never known.

What bothers me more is that you were so upset that you went back to your apartment to sleep last night. I haven't seen you all day today. And my texts have gone unanswered. I don't know what to think about that. I know you're busy, I was told you were knee deep in questioning witnesses, but you couldn't take the time to respond?

Why did you go back to your apartment last night? I just assumed you'd stay with me after what happened. But I understand if you wanted to be alone. I really can't understand what a true loving mother-daughter relationship is like; I can only read about it. Or study it. I'm so sorry that you and Angela exchanged heated words because of me. What have I done?

I'll never walk past the janitor's closet without thinking about our extremely passionate quickie. I never realized it was possible for me to climax so quickly. Jane what we did yesterday was proof that you and I were meant to be together. It doesn't matter where we are, we can find ways to love and please each other. Jane, please come home tonight. We've just agreed to be exclusive to one another. I am yours. And you are mine. I missed you so badly last night. I will be understanding, but just know that I missed you. My body missed your embrace.

I promise you, Jane, we WILL get through this one. We will get through it together. I know this is nothing in comparison to losing Barry, but I know you feel as though you've lost your mother. Trust me, my love, this is only temporary. Yes, she is upset with us, but this is our life. We have every right to live it however we wish.

What could make you feel better? I know sex is not the answer to everything, but with us, it's the answer to a lot of issues that arise. I'm not asking you to come home to make love. I'm asking you to come home so I can hold you in my arms. Come home so I can comfort you and wipe away your tears, and kiss your pain away. I could only hope that I do those things for you because you truly do them for me.

I understand why you're staying away. You usually do it when you need a good cry, right? How about trusting me to see you at your most vulnerable? If you trust me enough to share the sweet intimacy that we share almost every night, then why can't you trust me to see your vulnerable tears? I am not trying to pressure you into a decision, I am just expressing myself with hopes that you will be able to discern that I need you right now as much as you need me.

And I know you need me right now, Jane. I know you do. I can feel your pain so strongly as if it were my own. And it hurts so much. I am not going to beg you to come home. I know you'll be back when you want to. But you know where you belong and that is with me...

I'd heard people on social media calling their lovers their queens, but I never truly understood what it meant until the day you became the queen of my heart. You're everything to me. You're not only my heart, but you're my world, you're my desire, you're the very breath that sustains my life. I've never felt so strongly before for anyone. It's no surprise because there's only one person who could capture my heart so completely. Her name is Jane C. Rizzoli.

I have faith in us. I know you may need some time. I don't exactly understand why you've left me alone without explanation, but I've promised to love you through it all. Even through the events that I can't completely understand. Sometimes I sit with my eyes closed and I swear I can hear your voice in my ears. And I can feel your arms around me.

I need to get started on this autopsy. I need to focus. Just know that I love you, Jane. I love you so very much. And the best day of my life was also the worst day of my life. What I mean is: the day I received your first letter, was the best day of the worst day of my life. There are no coincidences, Jane. Our love saved each other. At least your love saved me.

Text me if you want. I'll be working until 6pm tonight. I love you.

Always,

Maura

P.S. I'm making your favorite tonight for dinner.

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks for reading. Thanks for your PMs, and I'm glad you're enjoying this. I've had a member nag me about my grammar. In all of my stories I've tried to grammar check. I think I do pretty well considering English is not my native tongue. Thanks! ~MSA**


	19. Janes Letter -10-

**Jane's Letter #10**

Dear Maura,

I know you're probably alittle upset with me right now, and I can understand why. Maur, please don't take my distance as something against you. I just needed to clear my head a little bit. No one can truly understand what it is that I am feeling. Not even you. I do not mean that in a bad way either. It's just stressful for me right now. And no before you say it, it has nothing to do with you, or Ma, or her being nosy and reading my letter. It has everything to do with the fact that the more I work, the more I feel like I'm losing myself.

When we started loving each other, that was truly the first time that I felt like I knew myself. I mean, you made me feel like me. I felt whole. I felt like I had a purpose. I miss that feeling…

I know I haven't come home in a very long time. And I'm sorry. It's not right, and I realize that you will take it personally but please, Baby, don't. Please. I guess if you're not going to take my absence personally, then I need to tell you why I'm doing it right? I don't even know where to begin.

I'll just say it. You know I love you, but I've come to the realization that I have fallen truly madly and deeply in love with you. I bet you couldn't read that sentence without singing the song we were playing the last time we were together right? Truly. Madly. Deeply.

This isn't a bad thing because I know what my heart wants. It wants you, all of you, and all of us. And that is the reason for my distance. I know it doesn't make sense. I know I may not be making sense but please try to bear with me for a few minutes while I get this out.

My feelings are not at all a bad thing. To fall so deeply in love with someone, is really a once in a lifetime opportunity. If you find that special someone who also returns the feelings that you have, you're very lucky. I am that lucky person. When I think about you and what we do together, I can't help but to think just how lucky I really am! I am not going to let anyone and I mean NO ONE, steal the joy that I get from my relationship with you.

I know I stayed away for a few days too many, but I did it to prove to myself that I'm totally fucked without you. Sorry for the language, but that's how I feel. I hated sleeping in my bed alone. The loneliness that I felt after knowing what it felt like to cuddle with you at night was unbearable. I couldn't take it. I ended up sleeping on the couch on most nights and lying awake the others. I couldn't function without you, Maur. I run a great risk sounding like needy fool, but I don't care. I need you, baby. I need you so much.

I need those beautiful eyes of yours, your soft touch, your beautiful smile, your soft lips, and your body lying next to mine. I missed making love to you each of those nights, because we both know that we can really rock that bedroom. Man… I miss that! I miss the way you let me take control of you. I miss how you let me do whatever I wanted to you. I miss having you pull my hair when I was tasting you. I miss everything about my lady.

Baby, I'm so sorry that I left you alone and avoided you mostly at work. Doing that also proved something else very important to me. It proved to me that you were going to stick by my side even if you didn't know what was going on. You are so precious to me. I value everything about you. You are my happiness, Maura. (You should see me right now). God. I'm a mess.

I know you're smiling because you know that when I start getting super mushy, it means that I truly feel it deep in my heart. And that "IT" is you. You and your love are embedded so deep inside me that you've become a part of my DNA. That's serious!

I can't sleep without wanting to fall asleep with you either next to me or in my arms, or whatever. The reason why I sleep so good with you is because you love me so thoroughly before we go to sleep. I never thought that I'd find a lover who would focus totally on me and my needs and make sure that I was okay first. It's very rare that you find a person who complements you perfectly like you do me.

Maura, my love for you didn't decrease when I was away from you. It only increased. It increased so much that I found myself literally aching for you. And for me to ache, that means that I really wanted you. I ache for you and I ache for the love that we create when we are together.

Oh, Maura. You're my lady, my girl. I'll never leave you again. Please forgive my leave of absence while I sorted through my feelings. I know you missed me too. I saw the way you looked at me in passing at the precinct. The main thing that I noticed also in your eyes was the forgiveness that you'd already given me. You are such a forgiving woman. So loving. So smart. What did I ever do to deserve you?

Can you tell me that? What is it about me that you love so much? What makes you want to be with me?

I've already told you many things that I love about you, but I forgot to mention how much I love love LOVE your cooking skills. I need to be careful because if I keep eating everything you give me; I'm going to be as big as a whale! (LOL)

Baby, that argument I had with Ma was so bad. It hurt me a lot. But I cannot help but to remember that before I left, you and I just sat on your couch and kissed. It was slow, passionate, and it was everything that I needed at that moment. Your lips caressed my soul and calmed my spirit. My heart was torn at the time, and I needed time to sort out my feelings about my mother and to see whether or not I was going to allow her to dictate my life with you. I choose not to.

Through this period of the 4 days, 12 hours, and 31 minutes that I've been away from you, I've come to the conclusion that I am not going to allow anyone to pull us apart. I love you, Maur.

May I please come home and enjoy the company of the woman I love? May I come home and lay in her arms and maybe make love again? I miss being smothered by your soft sweetness. We both need that. I can only speak for myself, but I know that I need to feel you, I need to taste you, and I need to be with you again. I'll never leave us again.

May I please come home?

Love,

Jane

P.S. I have a nice little surprise for you. I know it'll knock your socks off. If not your socks, then hopefully your panties...


	20. Mauras Reply -10-

**Maura's Reply #10**

My Dearest Love,

Oh how happy I was to receive your letter today! You have no idea how happy you've made me. I wish you could see the look on my face right now.

Wow, you never cease to amaze me, my love. I just so happened to have glanced up from this letter that I am composing and I saw you standing there in the window. You smiled and I smiled back and then you walked away. Thank you so much for sharing your feelings with me and explaining why you left me. I know it has only been 4 days, 12 hours, and 30 something minutes, but it has felt like an eternity. I've missed you terribly. I couldn't sleep either. I missed being held by you throughout the night. I missed waking up to the feeling of your kisses gently grazing across my back.

I tried not to think that your disappearance was because of me, but while I was laying there alone and aroused, I couldn't help but to think it was. I just don't understand. But at least I know that you're okay now. Yes, I am a very forgiving person, but I am also a human being, Love. How would you feel if I had done that to you? Do you know how many times I'd awaken during the night reaching for you because I woke up in need of love. Do you know what that did to me? Do you know what it felt like to ache so badly for the love that belongs to you, but your lover was nowhere in sight, nor was she telling you what was wrong?

I am not angry, I am a little upset and I am disappointed, maybe. I am just happy that we are okay. And I cannot wait to see you. I don't want you to spend another day away from me. I am sitting on the verge of tears because I'm so happy and I am in need of your love. Talk about a needy fool! *Smile*

I love knowing how you're feeling at all times. I would like for us to continue to communicate openly and never holding back on anything. I think back to what my life was like before I met you. All I can remember was that it was so very routine. You came along and changed everything for me. You gave me purpose.

I love it when you're super mushy *smile*. Being a part of your DNA sounds so sexy! You can be deep inside of my DNA any day, my love. There's a special part of you that joins with a special part of me so completely and so firmly that our hearts cannot help but to yearn for each other.

I must admit, I am certainly "fucked" without you too. You have no idea how badly I wanted to come to your apartment and sleep with you. But I knew you needed time. The best thing of all about our absence from one another is that our love has deepened with each passing day. I fantasized about you every night and every day. Every hour and every minute. I thought about how much I longed to feel the softness of your tongue cascading all over me and sucking those delicate spots that you know I love so much. Just thinking about it now arouses me.

What is it about you that draws me to you?

You are warm, you are strong, you are beautiful, you are extremely sexy. When you look at me, you look at me as if I am the only person left on the planet. When you smile at me, I feel the love you have for me in my heart. And when we are making love, the way you touch me, omg… that's true love.

Jane, I would like to talk about all of this when you get home tonight. I will make us a very special meal and we'll dine together before talking. And even if after talking about this, we find that we are upset or angry, I want us to do what is customary to our relationship. You know how intense our lovemaking is when we were upset with each other. And I must say, now that I put my feelings on the page, I have some unresolved feelings that I need to have resolved… tonight.

Don't make me wait too long. I can't wait to see the surprise you have for me. I'll see you tonight.

Love,

Maura

P.S. I have a little surprise for you too.


	21. Janes Letter -11-

**Jane's Letter #11**

Dear Maura,

Do you know how hard it was getting up this morning and leaving for work? I've never had such a hard time leaving you like I did this morning. Last night was incredible, Maur. I don't know why you doubt yourself and your ability to please me. I'm the one who is lacking in the creativity dept. I mean, I know exactly what I want to do, and that is to make you come, but sometimes I forget that as women we need time to build it up. It's good that you remind me. (LOL)

I never imagined that the surprise you had for me was THAT! Wow, baby, you really outdid yourself this time. I was not expecting that at all. But of course, I'm sure you knew I wasn't too. When I came home and saw you standing there in the kitchen, omg, I cursed myself on the inside because I knew I had messed up bad. And I knew you were upset with me still. I saw it in the way you carried yourself. And when you turned and looked at me, although you smiled, I could see the disappointment still in your eyes.

That's why the only thing I could think of after saying hello to you, was to come over and take you into my arms and kiss you. I knew that you thought that I was just trying to get in good with you and make you forget about being angry with me. But it wasn't that at all. I just needed to feel your lips again. And I was horny as hell. Truthfully speaking I wanted nothing more than to fuck you really good. No, not make love. We make love all the time and it's so good, baby…You're so amazing. But right then, I just wanted raw passionate rough sex.

Little did I know, that was what you wanted too! I should have known, because my girl knows exactly what I want and need at all times. And I'm so lucky. Man, Maura after we kissed a little by the stove, I could tell you wanted me too, but you were holding back. I knew that you wanted to wait until after dinner. And that was okay with me. When we started talking about things and you told me how I made you feel, all I wanted to do was make it better.

I remember when I took your hand, you got up and sat in my lap. God, I love it when you do that. Having you in my arms feels like heaven. While I was holding you, you pressed your forehead against mine and kissed me softly on the lips. I just knew that you wanted it slow, but I couldn't help forcing you down on the couch and pulling your clothes off while I kissed you.

You protested about Ma coming in, but I didn't care. It would have served her right if she had walked in on us. What we do in our own home is our business. Anyways, when I started sucking on your breasts, I just wanted to devour you. I thought for sure you were going to let me. But then you pulled out your surprise.

I was shocked! But I was also excited to know that you wanted to fuck me with it. Where did you buy it from? Did you go to a shop? And how in the hell did you learn how to use it? I don't even care about those answers all I know is you really blew my mind, baby.

Never have I been so shocked that all I could do is let you have whatever you wanted. And obviously you wanted me. I laugh now, because we barely made it to the guest room before you tackled me onto the bed. I have to admit, that was so sexy, baby. Omg. The way you straddled me and held down my arms. You were going to be sure that I paid for upsetting you. And I was so willing to take your punishment. (Hehe)

My favorite part was when you finally used it on me. It was surreal. You warmed me up so nice and when I was ready, you made sure you slid it slowly inside of me. I can remember how good it felt and the fact that you were gazing lovingly into my eyes made it even better. The smile on your face when you made me cry out was priceless. I couldn't help it. It felt so fucking good. Wow.

When you found your rhythm you did it fast and hard. Or should I say fast and furious? (LOL) You have me feeling like a lovesick puppy, Maur. I couldn't believe what was happening was actually happening! You hit so many important spots inside of me. Spots that NO ONE has ever touched. You had my insides turning into liquid.

You had me nearly coming already, but when you leaned down and started kissing and sucking on my nipple while you were fucking me hard, omg that was it. I remember trying to hold it back and prevent it from coming, but when you lifted my leg to get maximum depth, it was all over. I'd never come so hard in my life.

And it felt so good… It still does.

When I finished getting ready for work, I could barely sit down. All I could do was smile and remember that you weren't satisfied with just one time with our new friend. You had to wake me up in the middle of the night and make me ride you. To be honest, I was still tired from you taking me so hard earlier. But when you told me how much you wanted me to ride it, it turned me on so bad. I couldn't believe how aggressively you pulled me on it and held me on until I came for you.

Did you like how I rode you?

Man, I'm so sore! You left bruises on my thighs, your teeth marks are on my chest and I have the scratches from your nails running the length of my back. I love it all.

Last night was by far the BEST night we've had…

I was hoping to surprise you first and knock your socks (or panties) off, but hey whatever works. Right now, I know you're sipping on your espresso and you've overlooked your surprise maybe about 5 times already. Do me a favor and walk over to the dishwasher and pick up the plain gray box that I sat there on the countertop. When you get it, don't open it, but come back to the letter…

Okay. Now, close your eyes and open the box….

…

…

…

Yes, baby, you can believe this. It's real. What do you think? Do you like it?

You're nodding like I can see you. : -)

I know you love it… Put it on…

I can't wait to see you with this on. Take a picture and send it to me, so I can see too.

Maura, I don't want to wait another day. I don't want another day to go by without us solidifying our relationship. You see, you're already starting to rub off on me. As I'm writing this, I have real tears in my eyes because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I want you in my life forever.

I chose to write this all down so that when we are 95 years old and can't remember a damn thing, we can just pull out our letters and recount. Our letters will be the written history of our love. And how it started with just one.

Maura, my sweet and smart girl… Will you marry me?

…

…

…

…

It's okay, I know you're overwhelmed with tears. But I know that we belong together. And I know you are the one for me. No one could ever come as close to being what you are to me. You're my best friend, you're my lover, and hopefully soon you'll be my wife.

I know this is new for both of us, so we will take our time. But I don't want to take too much time, because I know what I want and I want you. I want us and I want my future to include you.

I hope you say yes. I know in my heart you will. I just can't wait to hear you say it.

Plus, you can't say no, because I spent my entire savings on this ring!

Love,

Jane


	22. Mauras Reply -11-

**Maura's Reply #11**

Dear Jane,

I haven't been able to decide on whether I want to cry all day or smile all day, so I settled on both. When I came to work today, I was hoping that you would be one of the first persons that I saw. And of course you were. You were standing there with your back to me, purchasing your items from the café. All I wanted to do was to hug you and tell you how happy I was to be yours. I wanted to jump into your arms and kiss you passionately, but of course I knew that I couldn't do it there. When you turned and saw me, your smile was so brilliant, it literally lit up my entire life.

The look in your eyes at that moment, reminded me of the first time we met and when I was leaving I turned back to look at you. You were already looking at me. It was the same look I saw then. It was then that I realized that you have loved me from the very first day we met. I feel so honored. (Omg, can this really be true)

Oh Jane, you've made me the happiest woman alive! I say it with so much enthusiasm because I am so very happy. You make me happy.

I'm so glad that you found that secret room down in the basement, now we don't need to worry about the janitor walking in on us. It's the perfect size too. I think it's quite romantic that we have our own place where we can meet and no one knows of its existence. When I received your text telling me to meet you there, I swear Jane I couldn't contain my excitement. My crime techs must have thought I had a quadruple shot of espresso this morning!

I couldn't wait to tell you, "YES". I couldn't wait to see your face when I said that one decisive word to you. It was as magical as I had imagined. I'd never imagined, even in my wildest and most creative of dreams that I would be engaged to my best friend. And I never had I imagined that you'd pop the question in a letter! That was so romantic.

When we were finally together and you locked the door behind us, it took everything in my power not to attack you. You excite me so much, my love. I love being your girlfriend. But I guess now, I am your fiancée. I love the sound of that.

You asked me again to my face if I would marry you. Instantly, I said YES! The glimmer of love and happiness that I saw in your eyes at that moment was enough to make me realize that I too made you happy. When you kissed me, I felt like I was melting into you and you into me. I knew we couldn't just meet, kiss and part our ways. We're never able to do that.

I told you how much I needed you and you took care of my needs so well. Just like you always do. I cannot begin to tell you how satisfying your lips are. We only had twenty minutes, but we made the very best of each one of those minutes, didn't we, Love? I cannot wait to see you tonight. Do we really need to eat dinner? Can't we just go straight to bed? If you're hungry, you can just have me. : -)

I miss you, Jane. So very much. If you're reading this letter, you've returned from the field. You're probably tired, sore and in need of a good meal. I know I alluded to not eating dinner, but I was just joking. You work so hard and you're the best in my eyes. I'm so proud of you, Jane. So proud of your strength, your determination, and your drive with everything you do. That's why I proudly wear your ring.

It is the most beautiful piece of jewelry that I've ever seen. I'm so honored to wear it. I loved how earlier in our secret room, you entwined your fingers with mine and continually kissed your ring. I loved that. That was so romantic.

I'll have your favorite meal waiting for you when you get home tonight, Love. We'll shower together first and I'll give you a nice massage to loosen your muscles. I'll also tend to the scratch marks that I left on your back. And then we will dine together and cuddle on the couch. It'll be our first night cuddling together as an engaged couple.

That sounds so nice, Jane.

And maybe if you want your turn with our new friend, you can do so tonight. Would you like that? It's really quite easy. It's all about being in tune with your own body and your lover's body. And we certainly have no problems with that.

I love you. So much.

I would like to tell you something. We do not keep anything from each other, so I need to tell you something that happened today. After you and I made love, and we parted our ways at the precinct, I had gone back home to retrieve a file that I had forgotten. When I was about to leave, I ran into Angela outside. She was very pleasant to me, and she asked how you were doing. I could tell that she missed talking to you, Jane. I felt for her.

When I was talking to her, she caught sight of my ring, and she inquired about it. I couldn't lie to her. I told her that you had given it to me. Considering the type of ring it was, and which finger I was wearing it on, she came to the conclusion about our engagement. She just nodded and said: "Oh, well, congratulations to you both."

I thanked her and after a period of awkward silence, she informed me that she would call you tomorrow and congratulate you personally. Can you believe that, Love? I think she's coming around. I know it's been hard not seeing her and not speaking with her, but I truly believe that she is learning to accept our relationship. She loves you so much. And I'm happy she's putting forth an effort to embrace our love.

I hope you are not upset with me because I told her about our engagement. I hope we all can be close again, Jane. I know how much your mother means to you. She means the same to me.

\- - - Next Page - - -

I cannot wait to see you tonight. Jane, I cannot wait to be your wife. Knowing that you want to spend the rest of your life with me, makes me feel so special and loved. My entire life, I had an abundance of material things, but the one thing that I needed most was the one thing that I lacked. And that was love. After all of these years, I finally found it. I found it in you.

My promise to you, my love, is that I will always be what you need me to be for you. And if by some anomaly I fail you in any way, I will strive to correct it, and be exactly what you need. My heart can't take this yearning for you much longer.

Let's take a vacation together? I know it's short notice, but can we make it happen?

I'll see you tonight.

Love,

Maura


	23. Janes Letter -12-

**Jane's Letter #12**

Dear Maura,

Good morning, baby. I am so glad that we had time to spend last night together. It was so great to cuddle with my fiancée. It felt completely different than the night before. It's hard to even explain but it just did.

Maur, I need to tell you something. I've been feeling down lately. And I'm not exactly sure what's wrong with me. I mean, it could be the stress of the job overwhelming me. I wish I knew. It's getting to be a bit much. I know that you have notice it too, because numerous times last night you asked me what is wrong. And I can't really answer with any good answer.

I just know that you balance me out so well, that all of those negative feelings go away when I'm with you. I need that too. I guess, I'm not at all as strong as I present myself. Yeah, on the outside, I am this tough chick who gets the bad guy every time, but on the inside, I'm just a normal lady you know? I need someone to look after me, and to protect my heart, and to secure my insecurities and to love me.

I get that from you. All of it. You do it for me.

Maybe a vacation would do us some good. I know it'll probably do me a world of good to get away from my everyday life and relax a bit with my girl. So I think that's a great idea. Where would you like to go?

Do you want to go to NYC for the weekend?

I know my letter is short today and a bit scattered. I'm sorry. I will make it up to you in my next one. It's just this fog in my head, baby. It won't clear. I guess I just miss my mother, mostly. I miss talking to her, I miss her silly little tidbits of information. I'm so glad that you were able to talk to her yesterday. She'd been avoiding us both pretty good. That makes me feel better that she asked about me. I know Ma will get over it one day. I just miss her right now… I really hope she calls me soon.

What's for dinner tonight? I'm going to miss you today. Make sure you spend your day off wisely. I hope you miss me too. Tonight when I get home, let's dance together? We haven't done that yet. And then we can do what we're so good at. You know what I mean. (LOL)

Last night was great, wow. I felt a little awkward at first, but the minute you started getting into what I was doing, omg, I couldn't stop. You were right, it's all about knowing yourself and your lover. I had so much fun.

My mind is so much in a funk right now; I don't know how I'm going to get through my cases today. As I'm writing this, I'm watching you sleep. You seem so satisfied with me. What did I ever do to deserve such love? I wonder that every day. I wonder what my life would be like had I chose to work in another state. Would our paths still have crossed? If not, would we have eventually found our ways into each other's lives?

Who knows. Maybe.

I do know that the closer I get to you, and the deeper our love grows, the more I am afraid of losing you. I don't even want to contemplate any of that happening. It makes me want to take us away from this dangerous life and live somewhere where there's just a small population, where everyone knows each other…

But I know you love your job as much as I love mine. But if I'm with you, I will love whatever I do, as long as I'm with you. (I didn't mean for that to rhyme, but it works) LOL…

Well, I need to go and shower. Maybe I will wash this mood down the drain, because it really sucks, Maur.

I'll see you tonight. Text me later.

I love you,

Jane


	24. Mauras Reply -12-

**Maura's Reply #12**

Dear Jane,

Oh sweetie, I knew you weren't quite yourself last night. I could just feel it. I am so sorry you're feeling sad. I know it must be hard dealing with not speaking with Angela. Sometimes we don't realize how much we need something until it's taken away. I am certain that she will contact you soon. She just needs time.

We need to try and look at it from her standpoint, if possible. We both know that she always thinks of you and I like her daughters. Well, you are her daughter, but she views me like her daughter. And she's often told me that I am a daughter to her. And I know she truly means it. She has accepted me into your wonderful family as one of her own. So it's highly likely that Angela is feeling a little bit of awkwardness mixed with disappointment and embarrassment. Not embarrassment regarding you as her daughter, but of us both in general. That's what I feel is the real problem.

But she still loves you and I and I know she will be getting in contact soon. I was saddened that she declined the dinner invite. I was really hoping that she'd come. Time heals all. Just try to distract yourself until she comes around, my love.

Tonight when you get home, we will dance like you want. We will eat dinner, and then I plan to draw you a warm bubble bath. I mean, I plan to draw us a warm bubble bath. That would be so relaxing too. And how about I light a few candles and play soft music? Would you like that?

Oh, Jane, I can just see your smile right now. I cannot begin to explain to you how absolutely happy I am with you. I used to fantasize about what life with you would be like, but now I don't need to dream. It is a reality! You always make sure that I'm content and satisfied. You always make sure that I feel loved. I'm so very thankful to have someone like you to call my own.

Do you remember early this morning when you woke me to make love? Usually I am the one waking you, but when you did it, I knew you needed me. I awakened to the soft touch of your lips on my shoulder. And when I opened my eyes and turned towards you, I saw the need in your eyes. It wasn't so much a sexual need as it was a need for comfort.

I couldn't wait to comfort you. When my lips grasped yours, you let a soft sigh escape. Or maybe it was a whimper, whichever it was, it touched me deeply. The way you said, "oh my god, Maur" and clenched my hair as my lips kissed your neck made me feel like for the first time in my entire life that someone wanted all of me. When I let you touch me, you touched me so gently and with so much delicate care that my whole body began to tremble underneath you. It felt so amazing. I love the way you touch me, Jane. I love it so much.

I know that I want to wake up to you every day for the rest of my life. I know I've said it before, but I don't see anything wrong with repeating it. I must admit, I am also afraid of losing you… Even more so now. I believe it's natural to feel this way. But we must never let that fear worry us too much.

I hate it when you go into the field. I hate it when I hear that you've gone out to arrest a suspect. It makes me fear that one day, you might leave out and never come back to me. I hate to even think of it! I know, I know. You're saying: "Well, stop thinking of it!"

It's easier said than done, my Love. I know you of all people know how hard it is.

…

….

….

Okay, I was so lost in my thoughts that I almost forgot to answer your question. New York City sounds great! Thankfully my badass girlfriend just solved another case, so I think we might be able to take a quick weekend vacation. Oh, Love, I am so excited! Can't you tell how excited I am by my use of numerous exclamation points?

The Hotel Central Park is an excellent hotel. I've stayed there twice before and I'd love to take you there. Would you like a view of the city or a view of the park? I prefer the city view. Whichever you desire, we will do. And we need a king sized bed too because my girl is an acrobat in bed *smile*… Oh, I'm so excited. I cannot wait. Thank you for agreeing to this. It means so much to me.

Last thing before I bring this letter to a close. I wanted to say this: Jane, I promise you… I absolutely promise you that I am not going ANYWHERE. You're stuck with me for a very long time. I hope that's okay with you?

You're also probably wondering how and when did I deliver this letter to you. Well, I've actually been here at the precinct for a couple of hours now, preparing something very special for you in our secret room. Meet me there, at 2 PM sharp. Bring all your worries to me. I love you, Jane.

Always,

Maura

PS. I brought a change of clothes for you… You'll need them after I'm done with you. *wink*


	25. Janes Letter -13-

**Jane's Letter #13**

Hey Baby,

All I can say is WOW. You know me so well. I feel as though you have a hidden camera at my desk or something. How did you know I needed a massage? That wasn't just a massage… Man, it was the best thing ever to happen to me! I can't even think straight right now. Still. By now, you're just getting to work, and you have just sat down at your desk to do your morning routine. But instead of surfing the net for AM sales on shoes, you're reading my letter.

Yesterday was so amazing, Maur. I didn't know what to expect, especially when you told me that you were bringing a change of clothes. I have to admit, I thought we were going to get down and dirty. But what you had in store for me was so much better.

By the time you told me about the massage, I had already figured it out, but the real massage was when you got naked as well. I was hoping and praying that you'd be naughty like you always are, and I'm so glad that my prayers were answered. You are such a bad girl, baby… I love it.

The massage relaxed me and your lips on my skin excited me. I didn't know how to feel. I knew I had a whole hour, but God I wanted it to last forever. I loved it when you climbed on top of me and massaged my shoulders. I was so turned on because I could feel your softness against my ass (sorry language, but damn!) and you were so hot.

When your massage started feeling really good, I couldn't help but to moan out loud. Then you leaned over and whispered into my ear to quiet down. Omg, Maur… If only you knew what kind of thoughts went through my head. But of course you did know because you started doing exactly what I wanted you to do.

You know what you did… Stop smiling. LOL (mmm. I love my freaky girl)

The massage was supposed to be about me, but I knew you were enjoying it too. And that's exactly what I wanted. We share everything, baby. Right now I can't think of a time when you and I didn't share our lives.

You know what my favorite part was? I'm sure you know, but I'm going to tell you anyway. My favorite part was when you were sitting on my back, rubbing my shoulders. You were so hot I could feel it right there on my lower back where you were sitting. So I start moving a bit, knowing that it would feel good to you. I loved how your breath caught in your throat and you whimpered a little. And the more I moved, the more you couldn't sit still.

Then you leaned down and kissed me on the back of the neck. The whole time you were grinding your pussy against me. You were so wet you were slipping. Omg… Then when you had worked yourself up, you pulled me over and onto my back. You kissed me so passionately, your tongue danced around in my mouth.

I loved kissing you. Our kiss was so slow and sensual. You are by far the best kisser alive. Your slow kisses turn me on so much. When you started grinding me, I almost lost my mind. I had never been so verbal in my life! I couldn't believe you had to silence me with your hand. I felt like you were taking me by force. And I loved every minute.

All I can remember is hearing my muffled moans and your soft sighs in my ear. You felt so good, baby. Your body slipped with mine so easily because you got all of the oil all over you. Man, I loved that so much.

By the time you were finished with me, I had forgotten about every worry that I had. I can't believe I cried again after coming with you. What the hell is wrong with me, baby? Is that normal or am I just turning into an emotional mess?

I don't know but I do know that when we come together, like in a literally sense, it makes me feel so good. Emotionally, mentally, physically… all of that. I cannot be without you. I don't want to be without you. I've been thinking about something for a while now. I mentioned it in one of my earlier letters, but the thought will not go away.

I really want to do something different. Job wise. I mean, yeah, I love being a cop, but after your last letter, I realize how much the dangers of my job really bother you. I used to think, oh well… I'm a cop, it comes with the territory, but now I don't think so one sided anymore. I care about how you feel. I care about your thoughts and wishes. It would kill me if one day, you'd have to do my autopsy.

I mean, I'd already be dead, so it can't actually kill me… ugh… You know what I mean.

I meant, thinking about one day you having to do my autopsy, hurts. Like really bad. So bad I don't even want to think about it.

The point I was attempting to make was, I was thinking of after we're married, I can find some other employment. And I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that I will never be able to be anything but a cop. Because it's in my blood.

But for you, I'd be willing to step outside my comfort zone and do something different for you and for us. You know that small town I talked about moving to? Maybe we could start a café or a coffee bar together there. That way, we'd always be together.

Yes, I mean it…

And you can be the small town coroner. You only get called when someone dies, so if it's a quiet and peaceful town, then we can just focus on our coffee shop. How does that sound, baby?

I know it's a big change, but I'm so willing to do anything for you.

…

…

…

Now about NYC. I looked up that hotel and WOW! I definitely want city view, high up as far as we can go without needing to sell a kidney. I want to have a room with a Jacuzzi. Can we? And a nice big screen tv. Maybe we can hit a few spots in the City before coming back to the hotel and dining, getting drunk and having lots of sex.

I know you love the idea.

I know we don't need to get drunk to have great sex, but can we do it just once? I'm going to be so excited to see what you'll allow me do once your inhibitions go down. Hey… At least I'm being up front. I WILL take advantage of you and do all the things you're too shy about doing now. *wink*

So we're leaving tonight, right? I'm so ready! I love the fact that you have a gazillion Skymiles. We could literally go anywhere last minute. You treat me so well, baby. I'm so glad I have such a cultured girlfriend like you. But even if you've been all around the world from Paris to Timbuktu, (I know not Timbuktu, but I couldn't remember where else), you still enjoy hanging out with simple me.

You make me so happy—

I cannot wait for you to be my wife.

I just placed a kiss on your lips as you're sleeping. And now I'm sealing this letter with a kiss.

Have a great day, baby. See you tonight when you get home.

Our vacation awaits!

xoxo,

Jane


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